Every strong woman run’s the risk of being misunderstood.
Unfortunately, without even realizing they often embody certain traits and behaviors that have the potential to be daunting.
Their natural passion and power can unnerve people.
This article explores the ways a strong woman intimidates others, without even meaning to.
1. Because of her authenticity
We get so used to people faking it, that authenticity can be a bit scary.
Every woman who refuses to bow to pressure and dances to the beat of her own drum is bound to intimidate at some point.
Authenticity might include:
- Standing up for what you believe in
- Being prepared to go against the grain
- Speaking out when you see injustice or wrongdoing
- Living by your own set of values
- Refusing to fall into people pleasing
- Expressing yourself in your own way
Being true to who you are isn’t easy, which is why it’s a sign of a strong woman.
It takes real vulnerability to say ‘I am what I am’.
But whenever someone is prepared to reveal themselves to the world, not everyone will like what they see.
In a world where fitting in can feel like the order of the day, originality can be pretty intimidating.
2. When she gives feedback
A friend of mine recently told me that she was worried she isn’t nice enough at work.
How can this be, I questioned.
After all, this is the same thoughtful and considerate woman who I value so much for all of her kindness.
On further investigation, it seems she’d been chastising herself in true strong-woman fashion.
She’d mistaken giving clear and appropriate feedback to colleagues as somehow not being nice.
And that’s because she could tell that some of her colleagues find her upfront approach pretty intimidating.
For sure, bluntly spewing out home truths to people with little consideration of how they will land isn’t great. But that’s far from what she’s been doing.
Being able to communicate what is and isn’t working is a vital skill for growth — especially in the workplace.
Some strong women will intimidate others because they are able to give this sort of feedback.
The reality is that honesty isn’t always comfortable — for the giver or the receiver.
But it’s a genuine sign of strength of character for that very reason.
3. By “scaring off” certain guys
I don’t know about you, but I’ve noticed this one when dating:
If you’re dealing with a boy and not a man, strong women can be pretty intimidating.
Not letting bad behavior slide, and voicing what you do (and don’t) want can all feel a bit too much for some guys.
So does that mean we should actively try to be less intimidating for fear of scaring men away?
Not according to columnist Maria Del Russo. She explained in Refinery 29, her solution has been to reframe her intimidating status:
“Don’t stop being intimidating. Just stop dating people who call you intimidating. They suck…I’d love to say that I woke up one day and realized all of this on my own. But actually, it was my therapist who offhandedly made the connection that the qualities I liked best about myself were the ones that were intimidating to the men I was dating.”
Put it this way ladies, sometimes you scare off exactly the type of guy you need to be scaring off!
4. By upholding firm boundaries
Simply hearing “no” can be pretty intimidating to some people.
You run the risk of being seen as difficult or awkward when you decline to do something you don’t want to do.
Having been defined and labeled as the caregivers in society for so long, women in particular often struggle with the thought of disappointing others.
When a woman comes along and makes her boundaries crystal clear it can be a shock to the system.
Of course, the people in life who fail to set boundaries are sadly the ones who get walked all over.
But those who are on the receiving end when a strong woman draws a line in the sand aren’t always going to like it, that’s for sure.
5. Through her success
In an ideal world, we’d celebrate each other’s successes.
But in the real world, it isn’t that simple.
Envy and jealousy can creep in. As too can inadequacy and feelings of inferiority.
And when you put all that together it means there is always going to be someone who wants you to dim your light because it shines too brightly.
A healthy dose of competitiveness can spur some people on. But for others, it leaves them feeling bitter and resentful.
Strong women can create waves when they have a go-get-em ambitious attitude.
